“These are the best days of your life” …”the best days of your life”…“the best days”…
If these are the best days of my life I don’t want the rest of it
People have been telling me from about the middle of secondary school – the end of uni that these are/will be the best days of my life.
I really hope they’re wrong.
For me these times have been the most horrible, stressful, shitty years of my life.
I’ve been bullied and broken.
I’ve been rejected over and over again.
I’ve battled repeated depressive episodes.
I’ve been given a variety of diagnoses as none of my Doctors seem to agree.
I’m in my last year of uni now and I’m already counting down to the end. Till I can move on from this shit storm and hopefully on to bigger and better things.
But every time I’m told these are the best days of my life. I feel like I’ve failed.
I’ve failed to enjoy these amazing times and take the wonderful oppurtunites that I supposedly have right now.
I honestly can’t wait for my future, even if it does involve becoming a “proper adult” (eeeek).
But for me uni hasn’t provided the home I need and I haven’t found my tribe like I thought I would. Instead its proved to me that my kind of people aren’t these kind of people.
I’ve got so many dreams for the future I desperately want to travel the world and explore what it has to offer (hopefully with my amazing partner by my side).
I want to find my niche in my field and work out what I want to do as my career-career but I want to actually enjoy my youth before that.
I’m looking forward to moving out even though it will feel weird to have to be completely self-sufficient my year abroad taught me that I can do it when I need to.
I have so many things that I’m looking forward to, I’m hoping with all my heart that people are wrong when they tell me that these are the best years of my life.